Contents page 1 — “The nurse threw me a murder” page 2, From the illegality to the period solution On a page to read
“The stealth with which the subject is treated makes it even more brutal. Anyone would have been helped if I hadn’t carried out the demolition,” writes a reader. Another describes: “After the demolition was finally carried out, I was relieved and sad. But, above all, relieved. In fact, I have not felt for a long time, almost guilty to be depressed or to break it, but to be every day until today, grateful for this decision.”
The social Stigma, the secrecy and the bureaucratic processes: All of which refer to those women who have responded to our survey on the occasion of the change in the law of section 219a, very often, as loads after a termination of pregnancy.
A part of the Grand coalition compromise in terms of Section 219a of the contract for a study, for which five million euros will be available. In the period from 2020 to 2023 Minister Jens Spahn would like to investigate what are the psychological consequences, pregnancy can trigger crashes. This study is in the criticism, representatives of the SPD, FDP, Greens and the Left, for example, you criticized as “superfluous”. That’s why we have given women who have a crash, a space to share their experiences.
fit to selection Less The advice show left a lot to be desired. “Userin A. S. by: Userin A. S.
I had an abortion in 2002, with 17. The decision to do this, I had to cases very quickly, as up to the twelfth week of pregnancy, not much time remained.
Immediately after the surgery, I was sad, the sadness gave way but in the next few days is a relief. At the time I was supported by my older sister. My parents and I said nothing. I thought this would put a strain on our family Situation.
The years after that I regretted the step never. Mine went and it goes very well. Only since then, with 30, the desire to have children was stronger, it initially didn’t work, and I now once again am pregnant, I have been emotionally more with my decision to come apart. Still, I don’t regret it, but just wonder if it would have really been no other solution. However, when I see today how far a child is developed in the twelfth week already, I wish sometimes that I had been already aware of.
For my former decision, however, it was good that a more detailed ultrasound was not done. Nevertheless, I find that the education left much to be desired: advice I would like to mention what I got at pro familia. I was asked if I wish the crash, was treated as a pro forma, what Alternatives there are. In total, the conversation lasted maybe ten minutes. Not my To is on my personal Situation and my concerns.
I think it is important that the Clause 219a has now been changed. Woman doctors should be allowed to inform in advance in detail about it. Young women in need of early education. I didn’t want to have the pregnancy only, and have not dared for a long time, to talk to someone about it. As a result, only little time remained for a decision.
If there were online serious information of gynecologist, enlighten and advise, this could help to make decisions, no matter in which direction. We, as women, don’t drive on a whim, just because we are informed. This idea is as stupid as Jens Spahns statement, we would eat the morning after pill like Smarties, as soon as we get them without a prescription.
I felt like I was a little girl, whose decision is questioned ability. “Anonymous from: Anonymous
ever since I can think about is that I would like to have no children. In my Childhood I perceived motherhood as something very Negative, which is most certainly due to the unhealthy and disturbing relationship that my parents had with each other. In me has lodged itself in the sense that I, as a woman, only cons, if I put the children in the world, like my mother, who could realize their professional dreams never.
in Spite of this setting, I became unintentionally pregnant. Since 2007, I live in a solid relationship since 2009, I’m married. For my husband it is okay that I don’t want kids, so we have to prevent, always. 2017 is apparently the prevention of mistakes. That I was pregnant, I felt directly by the first missed my period. Panic overcame me and my first thought was: “It must go!” I was ashamed of myself but also because I had a specific idea of what happens to women. And now, I was personally affected. I felt stupid and irresponsible.
I went to a bigger woman doctor practice, I was sure that to me there would be helped. The Doctor explained to me the possibilities and pointed out that I would need an advice note. My husband gave me email addresses and contacts, so that I could continue.
The consultant was extremely friendly and understanding when I explained my Situation. She wanted to know if the crash was my own decision, or if I’m coerced by someone else. After the conversation, I had the advice slip in the bag and still had to wait three days until I was allowed to have an abortion. That was actually the worst part, for my decision. I felt like a little girl, whose decision is must ability to be in doubt.
Because I had noticed the pregnancy is very early, I was able to have an abortion with the abortion pill Mifegyne. Under the supervision of another Doctor, I’ve swallowed it and was able to go home after this. Mifegyne no longer suggests to the body, to be pregnant, so the uterine lining dissolves and the supply is prevented. After two days, I have swallowed in addition to Prostaglandin, so that the loosened tissue is to be jointly repelled with the fertilized egg.
It was a slightly stronger period, which was a bit more painful and bloody than usually. The pain were unbearable, and after the excretion, I was relieved, but also disappointed in myself. I was able to get substantial not properly hen that this happened to me, and I asked myself the question whether I am a felon? Ultimately, I wanted to protect myself before a mental crash due to an unwanted motherhood, but also the potential child from feeling unwanted – I felt like I me at the time as a child. I’ve even seen the ultrasound image from the fifth week of pregnancy. I could see still nothing, the fertilized egg resembled an ovarian cyst, which was at the time also in my lower abdomen. Thus it was, in fact, only one of unwanted cell clusters for me, and for whose elimination I have taken care of as quickly as possible.
Even today, I do not regret this step. But I have sworn that I would not come again in this Situation, and let me sterilize it in next month’s final. The current debate makes me angry. I was lucky that I intuitively in a practice went well with that could help me. My husband has supported me, he took care of in the shortest possible time to schedule a consultation appointment and he was on the day of elimination for me. I felt from the Doctors and the counselor from the counseling center in a competent and well-treated.
it is more Difficult certainly for women who do not live in a big city and have no supportive Partner at your side. For these women, I would like that you can get online all the necessary and above all the factual information you need for your decision. Women should not feel criminalized because they have opted for an abortion, and against motherhood. Such a decision may sometimes be taken to protect the potential child in front of a self.
The nurse accused me of murder. “Anonymous from: Anonymous
I was in my early 20 and in the middle of the study, as I was by the prevention of errors is pregnant.
The relationship to my Partner at the time was still quite fresh. The news of a pregnancy, threw us quite a bit. We were both in the study, both had no idea of a life with a child, and most of all: lack of financial resources, to pull it well.
a Short time later I landed so in the statutory guidance. It was strange: Why did I have to discuss with a stranger this topic?
Still, the interview went very well Together with the consultant, I played through it, how could it financially and with my studies to go on, if I would get the dwarf in my belly. Rosy future the were prospects of My studies, I would only be back in time for me financially by the office to bring.
in Addition, I realized that I would be with this Situation, probably alone. My Partner saw no reason to change a child’s life design.
Short and sweet: I’ve decided against the dwarf.
Great, really very Worried, I was, because to read everywhere was that you would by a crash depressed. In the Internet there was at this time, in the year 2000, almost all reports of women who wrote how much she had regretted the decision to abort or how much you now mentally would suffer.
After the predetermined period of time, I drove anyway, in an outpatient clinic and had the abortion. But the Situation today is bothering me. In the recovery room directly after the procedure, I was still in a daze and a half, said the nurse to me: “With this murder, you will now need to spend your whole life.”
It was really long, until I have digested that sentence, I was planted there, helpless, defenseless and half-stunned, into the brain.
My decision against the child I do not regret until today. Now I have two happy kids that both know that they would have had a sibling, were the circumstances different.
I was aware of committing a grave sin. “Brigitta: Brigitta
I was 20 years old, as I was in 1982 unintentionally pregnant. I had a study in front of me and worked in a nursing home. My friend was also a Student and we had known each other for a very long time. Although I had planned for my life to children, but not at this time. I saw myself as not Mature enough to have a child. My friend was emotionally quite unstable, and I said it to him only after some time that I was pregnant.
I was early, I knew I would have an abortion and I felt horrible. On the one hand I wanted to spare the child to be raised by parents who themselves are still much too immature, materially unsecured, and it is not clear in your relationship. On the other hand, I struggled with my Christian attitude.
I come from a big family and I am a unplanned child. My mother had me born exactly twelve months after my brother and told me how awful she was during the pregnancy with me felt – not knowing how you should it with another child, the one should follow.
I decided on the demolition after a weekend spent in my friend and I with discussion, and the sad adoption of our child. I told him that I alone would decide whether he would have objections or not. The he has accepted.
He accompanied me to the extraction, I wanted. You made it very professional and respectful, I also experienced the advice in the case of pro familia. I was aware of committing a grave sin, and to kill a man. I was aware that it would have psychological consequences. And so it was.
I was depressed, but not alone because of the crash. In my family there are endogenous and in my Childhood, traumatic causes, falling hard to the weight. This has influenced my decision to abort also.
for Years I have mourned the day that the intervention took place. I thought of how old the child would have been, what would have become for a person. It took a long time, until I was with those feelings. My decision I have made, however, never questioned, and the blame accepted. The relationship with my boyfriend is broken up about this, and other factors. Later on I was active in the women’s movement against Pragraf 218 and for the women concerned.
With 30 I became aware of it’s mother and was able to raise this child lovingly. Ironically, it was the birth for me, life is dangerous and not possible.
I’m wearing still my invisible child in the heart, but still to the decision and its consequences. I told my daughter that she could count on in the event of an unwanted pregnancy unconditionally, with my help, no matter what you would decide. I told her that it would have consequences for your whole life, what would you choose. Your decision should be conscious and free, and no man or Institution or the state have the right to ask the question.
Today, I experience terrifying way, a step backwards for women in the public discussion of this topic. I have worked for a long time psychiatric and knows how difficult to psychological injuries can be, when a human being as a child is not wanted and loved. We should work in society that mothers can make it easier to have unwanted children and raise. Minister Spahn should care more about, to facilitate the work of midwives, to strengthen the conditions for families in health care and to facilitate care. He should stop exploiting women in distress ideologically for his purposes.
My mind is not stopped as a result of the crash healing, anyway. “User m: user m.
I had a number of conversations in advance with the gynecologist, the pregnancy consultation, and then again in the clinic in which the surgery was performed. All the conversations were surprisingly short. My concern is that you would try to talk me into the Conscience, were unfounded.
Since I never wanted children and unfortunately was still pregnant, my case was fairly clear. The body starts with a pregnancy rapidly to change. I found it just creepy. In any case, I would get this child. In counselling sessions, I was able to make it credible that I have no doubts about my desire to cancel, and was honestly glad that you came to me with a moral club. That would certainly have changed my decision, but probably humiliated. I was taken seriously and felt well cared for.
Also, in retrospect, I found that the interference was not burdensome or regret him at all. Physically, it was of course violently. But my Psyche is not stopped as a result of the crash healing, anyway.
I had an abortion for economic reasons. “Ina C. by: Ina C.
I had an abortion for economic reasons. I already had two children, my husband was previously unemployed. I don’t have it in me just to get a child. The problems were at the time already overpowering. I have searched for days for a way to perform the operation. No one could or wanted to help me. My former Ob / GYN denied me any clarification and help.
For me, it was clear immediately that I would not get this child. I informed my Doctor. She said that I should take two or three weeks time to Think, and then again in your report. She had no timely appointments, and actually let myself down. In the case of pro familia, I finally got the advice and support that was necessary. The clinic I had to look for me even then – and it also cost time. For me, this Situation was to cope with extremely difficult to. I have never regretted to have this child not get.
It was with the wrong man at the wrong Moment. “Anna H. from: Anna H.
I knew immediately: I don’t want to. It was with the wrong man at the wrong Moment, it would have made me very unhappy. And also the child. “Not a good decision, but a right,” said my therapist at the time. I was glad that the consultation went quickly and understanding across the stage without coaxing.
Private I have spoken with anyone about it, my Partner has accompanied me to have an abortion. All is well. That was 14 years, and I am very grateful that I had the Chance to have this abortion. I think that very often how glad I am! It would have been terrible. I’m domesticated, nor, practically, I read and tried to hire me a lot, I would have exactly the opposite life.
The doubts came only two years later. “Anonymous from: Anonymous
I had suffered for three months in advance of a miscarriage hit me hard. To process So soon afterwards re-pregnancy, I was mentally not possible. I made the decision alone and was led by the parties – pregnancy conflict counselling and gynecologist – matter-of-factly through the procedure, without sympathy or moral Loading or condemnation.
I felt, however, punished for this, that I have conducted my sex life after my miscarriage. The reason for the unwanted pregnancy, a condom and a non-effective morning-after pill was. As the lady doctor confirmed my pregnancy, my decision immediately. Not a day have I regretted it – because I’ve ensured to be not mentally unstable mother.
The abortion itself, was done by pill. The departure of pain on the domestic toilet I felt as penance. After that, I needed more than a year to develop a semi-normal sex life. As carefree as before, however never again.
I had just turned 21 years old, and the feeling had to be, yet at all Mature enough for a child. I was then for four years in a stable relationship with my Partner, we lived together in an apartment. But we were both studying.
I am a child of Divorce. My mother got up early, at the age of 24, children, and the castle never to have a proper education. Therefore, it was very important for me to be independent. I didn’t want to be with my parents, my boyfriend or his parents.
I told very few people from my crash. My mother said she and my family were there for me. My boyfriend at the time said very little to this point in time. He supported me financially and took 800 euros, the cost of the intervention at that time.
I live in Austria, unlike in Germany, advertising “for abortion is not banned” here. You will find on the Websites of the clinics and doctor’s practices with the necessary information.
Before the procedure, I felt little. In the practice of the doctor, I fainted. Without wanting to admit to myself I was completely on the Limit. But even after that, I felt, somehow, very little. This came only two years later. Suddenly, I thought about it, Yes vielleicht but have done and whether this decision had been my personal freedom and independence value.
My Partner and I had actually ceased from the time to talk to each other properly. Our relationship was only three years later, in the breaks, but the trigger is the termination of pregnancy. He never wanted to talk more about it, and has become the subject of aggressive – even if not physically. So I could not talk to him about it, although, to me, the procedure employed, of course. As we parted, he told me – for the first time – that he wanted to cancel at that time. And me as a woman but had not want to talk.
I felt guilty to be depressed. “Claudia from: Claudia
I was unintentionally pregnant, and in an unstable relationship. Although I noticed the pregnancy is already in the third week, but passed due to scheduling problems, doctors and consulting duties for a painfully long time. I noticed how my body was changing, the hormones surrounded and the Situation was becoming more and more difficult. Each additional day was an incredible burden.
support I have searched on a private page, but only my closest friend told. I didn’t want to me someone inside talking to in this decision. The fact that I self – Doctor, a grown-up and reflected – me of an organization called pro familia advice, most private questions had to answer, I felt as degrading and stressful.
Ultimately, the intervention of a Doctor was carried out, which leads or else a desire to have children practice. The previous appointment I had to sit in a waiting room full of baby photos and me during the examination, the ultrasound image of the embryo in close-up on a huge flat screen to watch, which was attached for the parents-to-be. My gynaecologist had previously been so discreet, and had turned away the screen because she knew my decision.
After the demolition was finally carried out, I was relieved and sad. But, above all, relieved. In fact, I have not felt for a long time, almost guilty to be depressed or to break it, but to be every day until today, grateful for this decision. I felt like a bad person, because all the world is telling you that you have to break it and for years regretted it. No one is saying that you feel relieved and liberated. This Information I would have liked in one of the counselling sessions: This is all bad, but afterwards you’ll feel relieved, and that is perfectly okay.
by Jens Spahn planned study encourages a misogynistic attitude, and does not contribute in the Slightest to improve the Situation of unhappily Pregnant women. We need a study that deals with the actual difficulties and obstacles of the women concerned, and not one that wasted a bunch of taxpayers ‘ money, women, honor continues to self-determination over your own body and you depression foisting where there are none.
Institutionally, there were some obstacles. “Anonymous from: Anonymous
I’ve decided for a number of reasons for a medical abortion. The most important thing is that I’m me for years, sure I don’t want to be a mother. While many couples in my environment to think out loud about kids and are born first, I decided against this path. Regardless of the pregnancy was the result of a prevention span, we hardly knew each other, and a joint Raising of a child was, for me, completely unimaginable, as well as single motherhood.
In the past I had already considered how I would with an unwanted pregnancy to deal. Thanks to an open and a feminist circle of friends, in the the was subject, was a demolition is always an Option for me.
my Friends, I felt supported me well. After a first moment of Shock the two Friends were spot on very sweet and there for me, and two other Friends on the phone are always accessible – a very important support, because institutionally, there were some obstacles.
In the first conversation with my gynecologist, I made it clear that I’m here, to let me the pregnancy to confirm and to know how the next steps look like, in concrete terms: who can do the procedure in my city. It was interesting to note, first, that there were only two points of contact. Even though I was in a very early stage, not mentioned to my Doctor the Option of medication abortion.
Also at the following advice, I made it clear that my decision would be for the crash, and I need only the ticket. The Advisor is not, however, loose with their demand, which is why I was so sure that I wanted to have children. It was only after I had explained my reasons, you. I felt misunderstood and disenfranchised.
we then talked about several practices that could make the engagement, it was not made clear to me for the first Time, that there are enough. In my town, the clinic, and a low makes it only an established doctor. Medication abortions are not performed in the clinic, I was told that the waiting time is currently about six weeks for the consultation in advance of the procedure. In the case of a pregnancy at a later stage, is a big Problem.
Fortunately, the consultant had told me in an interview that medical abortions would be carried out in the neighboring city. Here I felt for the first Time, in fact, institutionally understood. With the competent doctor I talked about in my women in my town the medical abortion. That is in the neighboring city, maybe because it is not marked as Catholic as my city.
Between the Notice of the pregnancy and the beginning of the crash for six or seven days were to me. The time before the crash I felt as a very complicated and opaque. A lot of information I was looking for me on blog entries and stories of other women.
When I had realized that I was really pregnant, I developed a proper defense to my body. I don’t know whether I fancied it to me or whether it really was, but I felt tired, had no appetite more. I just wanted this pregnancy to end. The crash itself was with.fight, but I had the feeling to get back in control of me. After the demolition was carried out, I was initially just happy to have this amazing experience behind me. Also, I was very relieved and I’m up today with my decision, very happy with it. Clearly, it is not cool to terminate a pregnancy, but it was in my case, the absolutely right decision.
The study, which is now scheduled to find another Time entmündigend. The consequences of abortion have been investigated in many cases. That very many women are after the crash with their decision and their lives satisfied or happy, is not addressed in the public debate. It would be much more important to remove the taboos from the subject of comprehensive and reasonable educating. How can it be, for example, that there is little accessible information? I had not read in advance of the appointment in a blog post, what are the deadlines for medical abortions apply, I would not have asked in all probability explicitly according to this variant of the crash in the conversation.
in Addition, I believe that the social Stigma is much discussed too little. I find myself sometimes in the weird Situation that I would like to tell Friends and friends of my crash, because it was a crass experience. I don’t trust me but because there are social myths, and I have no desire to be on the basis of a false compassion in a different way. Abortions and open discussions about it are still a taboo. Perhaps it should rather be researched.
remorse plagued me never. “Sophia from: Sophia
I was just 21 years old and a half years happy with my Partner. For him, I was pulled in a different city.
We both come from working-class families and have studied, lived at the time and for years thereafter, on the edge of the subsistence minimum. It even went so far that it gave our parents a Christmas “Care packages” – a stockpile of canned food, countless packets of pasta and rice. That was the most of this time, the Value of what you could give to us.
the news about The pregnancy was a shock. I know that I am, immediately burst into tears. We barely had money for food, the last week of the month was always particularly hard. I didn’t have to think about it. Yes, the children I wanted. But not this time and not under these circumstances. I was self-employed very in order to find my way through life. I felt much to young to take the responsibility for a child. My Partner had the same opinion. To our parents we have never told them.
My gynecologist was very understanding and took me seriously. He has shown me my ways and me addresses of Doctors given the abortion. Also the advice he has given to me. There were all very friendly, the consultation was constructive. At no time did it feel, to be pushed to a decision.
in compliance with the statutory period of time I have the surgery. I felt of all involved, and helping people, have a crisis of conscience plagued me never. Back then and even today, nine years later, not. I was honestly just relieved when I was able to complete this Chapter.
At this point in my life that was the right decision, and I would decide if I was still 21 years old and in this Situation, is different.
in the Meantime, I’m working. I have no more financial Worries, my personality has matured and I feel “arrived”. My Partner and I are still together. Next year we are getting married and want a family. I’m ready now.
I feel the study of the Ministry of health under the planned question as grist to the mill of extremist opponents of Abortion. In my opinion there is no need for further study, and the sections 219a to finally abolish.
If there should be a further study, then it would be to study much more meaningful, the extent to which unwanted pregnancies that were forced upon because of lack of information or other extrinsic factors up to the birth, can cause mental disorders – in the mother-child relationship.
What annoys me especially in public, but also in the parliamentary debate, is that there seem to be mostly men who take the right to judge things that affect you in any way.
I felt as if I was infested by a parasite. “Sofia from: Sofia
I had unfortunately used the misfortune of a failed Contraceptive, I actually, in order to prevent further pregnancy.
As my wife’s doctor diagnosed the pregnancy, I was overcome by a dreadful panic. Immediately it was clear to me that I want to. Since there was no decision process, no doubt. Fortunately, the woman’s doctor’s level-headed and organized, responded in a the necessary consultation appointment right after the doctor’s appointment. A few days later, I was able to arrange a date for the termination.
In the implementation of my decision, I supported myself by a woman doctor, and is taken very seriously felt. Also the consultant of pro familia has made no attempt to convince me of the contrary. This has me confused however, in such a way that I don’t nachhakte even if that would be actually your task. To me, the Benefit of this advice was in the Situation not clear and also no matter, since I just wanted to this note, the agreed me the taken advice, to make an appointment with a leading practice agree.
In my environment only my former Partner knew, took, however, due to my clear response to the pregnancy also made no attempt to change my mind. I told but no Person of them, since I had no desire to nice-intentioned sayings.
I felt of the determination of the pregnancy until its termination, as I was infested by a parasite. Accordingly, I was relieved when the procedure completed and I was back within a wanger. So it is with me even today, six years later. There are certainly women, the problems with such a procedure, but I am still deeply grateful that I was not forced this pregnancy to term.
It is A in Freiburg no bbruch. “Nora K. from: Nora K.
I decided to go with 33 years for a crash, because my Partner and I were not prepared for a child. We were together for only three months; I had become pregnant because my diaphragm has failed.
In the time before and after the crash, I have almost only positive experiences. I was treated by a woman doctor, and pro familia is very caring, understand me and lifted felt. In my private perimeter know only the closest friends are all liberal, that’s why I heard no criticism, only support.
What amazed me, however, is that You can leave in Freiburg not detract from perform and that, although there is also a University hospital. The next practice is located ten kilometres outside of the city.
I was afraid of surgery, because I had never had an Operation. That’s why I decided to use the drug the way: I had to take different tablets and then four hours in the doctor’s practice to wait until the demolition was completed. For me, it was mentally the whole time, very well – apart from the thoughts, then so be it. I had to cry or I felt depressed or weird. After a couple of days then stopped the bleeding and I was able to resume my life again. It was not a nice experience, but not bad.
It felt like searching for permit A38. “Steffi C. by: Steffi C.
It was unplanned. I was after a for the prevention of errors to get pregnant, the timing was inconvenient: I had just been to a new place with lots of missions promoted and lived only a month with my friend. We decided against the pregnancy, because we wanted to enjoy togetherness in the own four walls.
We have received a lot of support from our environment, but not from the institutional side, on the contrary, It felt like searching for permit A38. In the case of pro familia, there was no appointment to a time when my friend and I had had the time. For this reason, we had to drive to a more distant consultation, no proper consultation took place. We were only asked if we were sure. We were, and received the note, I was able to give my wife a doctor to make an appointment for the abortion. Doubt I had none.
After the surgery I felt very relieved and much better. Before that I suffered great fatigue, and Nausea. Even now, four months after the procedure, it is good for us. My friend was in the intervention, what has taken from me the fear of General anesthesia. Just before the surgery I asked the Doctor if I would have to fear, mental problems, of which I had read a lot. She explained to me that it is your experience of the personal Situation of the patient depends, but I have nothing to worry about, if I was me now, so sure. As before, we will not regret the decision. Psychological problems did not occur. We are sure that we want kids, but only in two years. I find it absurd that I could pay taxes and put me in political office, but I have to justify myself, if I decide against an unwanted pregnancy.
to Him I leave, for the sake of the crash. “Userin Honeybee by: Userin Honeybee
an abortion, I have twice in the space of ten years, under completely different circumstances. For the first Time, there was no consultation. The advice the second Time was completely inefficient, because the young woman was overwhelmed with my unusual case, apparently. Private support I have brought home to me at the time, out of shame for my projects, only my best friend, who did not want to interfere but rather.
I felt me so far, both times pretty much left alone with the decision. For the first Time in the pregnancy from a One-Night Stand was born. After the surgery I was relieved accordingly, and had no acute or of later mental health problems.
The second Time, I actually wanted the child. My twenty-years-younger husband, then 21, could not imagine a paternity. All other conditions were optimal. Him I for the sake, then, but a crash make. After that, I had a short break, I recovered quickly, however, and ten wonderful years with my husband witnessed to me for psychological late effects in the Form of sexual disorders set, which ultimately led to our separation.
As you can see in my example, is the problem in a very individual and complex. In hindsight, I should have both pregnancies not to abort, if I had been a experienced Person of the other perspectives identified. If I had decided in my various Fears really different, remains open.
In the consultation, there was a obvious abortion opponent in front of me. “Roberta: Roberta
I have decided with my Partner at the time, together, for a termination of pregnancy. We have not felt ourselves rise to the occasion. I still had a year of high school, wanted to study and work abroad. With a child of our ideas, of our next life would be a section not have been possible, in spite of the support of the parents.
The “consultation”, I had to complete to get an appointment for the termination, was for me the most difficult Moment in all the time. In front of me, an obvious abortion opponent who wanted us to make the decision hard for sat. This appointment I have felt as an additional burden.
The surgery itself was quick and easy. I felt then relieved and the decision regretted to this day not a second or me in any way felt bad. It was absolutely the right decision.
this topic is a taboo until today, is a disaster. It shows that we aren’t left as a woman in today’s society alone, as soon as it corresponds to the societal norms. Today, I am 32 years old and now feel ready to start a family. I am convinced that I can be a much “better” mother than I can be fourteen years ago. Where is the Problem?
in the proposed study examines whether a termination of pregnancy “mental Follow” for the woman, I do not understand. Not because mitformuliert already an expectation of the result? From my own experience I can’t confirm that.
You might feel like a murderer. “User GABO from: Userin GABO
I was just in a temporary internship, and knew not, how it should go. The relationship is fresh, then pregnant, of 500 euros gross, to be converted in Hamburg, my Two-room apartment of a Two-WG, to be able to pay the rent, the yellow letters piled up. With a child, my current career would never have been possible.
My family showed a lot of understanding and supported me. From the institutional side, I received little encouragement. My gynecologist offered to thank God for the intervention by means of tablets. However, both in the case of pro familia, with the Doctor as well as the health insurance Fund, I felt like a bad person.
In each of these encounters, I asked myself, what do you think of my To now from me. The Tenor of the advice was rather: “do you Want to think about it again?” You will feel quickly like a murderer.
The engagement has not been a burden on me as much as the views in the consultation and in the case of the woman doctor. Of course, I imagine sometimes how it would have been, I would have held the child. Today, it would have to go to school.
Finally, it was the better decision. The father of the child died five months after the crash. I built a life that would not have been with child as possible. I do not regret. Sometimes it makes me sad. But I never was ashamed of since then, so or felt so bad as the day of my consultation and the abortion.
I would like to get support to Unsubscribe. “Josephine: Josephine
I had crashes in two pregnancy and have felt consistently supported. It was easy, without complications. However, I would like to say with my 60 years in retrospect, it would have been me a thousand times better, I would have to get support for the Discharge of the pregnancy. In retrospect, I think it is a disaster that no conversations with psychologists and Doctors to take place, the search for solutions. Then it was me for a long time is very bad.
I had feelings of strong guilt. “Userin Gabriela89 of: Userin Gabriela89
at the age of 19 I was taken by my Ex-friend got pregnant and was also at the same time unemployed. He has cut off contact completely to me, from my family I got anyway, never support.
When I learned that I am pregnant, I got scared. The next day I went with my new friend in an “abortion clinic”. I was even more scared. It all happened very quickly, but shortly after the surgery, I got strong feelings of guilt. Two years later, I wanted to have a child and had miscarried twice. I thought that was the punishment for what I had done. Then I had three more children. The feelings of guilt are gone after a total of ten years.
I wanted to are not considered to be damaged goods. “Angelika from: Angelika
I decided to go for a termination of pregnancy, because I had not decided for the pregnancy. I felt in my Situation then is not ready to take the physical rigors of a pregnancy on me and then I have not chosen my role as a mother forced. From the producer I could not expect much support.
From the institutional side, I felt supported in my decision. The advice in the diakonia, the outcome was that, for Me, the possibilities and the consequences of both decision-making were shown, and felt pushed in any direction. The only point of criticism: in The end I went with the name of a single physician from this advice out of the 70 kilometers away from my home practiced. Only in retrospect did I learn that I would have had the choice to go to whatever doctor I want. This possibility of free choice of doctor, I have finally, in the case of any other medical intervention – they denied me due to the non-publicly accessible Information.
In the first months after the procedure, I struggled actually with my decision. I envisioned what it would become if I had decided differently. The shame that I associate with the surgery. I’m not dedicated to my friends. I didn’t want to not be “such a girl”, not as “too stupid to Prevent”, as “damaged goods”. I’m afraid that these ideas still exist, instead of that is seen, as I have made a conscious decision about my body and my life.
Meanwhile, almost three years have passed and I don’t regret my decision, I quarrel, I did not get a mental illness. I don’t trust myself with my personal story to the Public. Still a taboo – we could leave, would handle all the women who have made an abortion the open.
It hurts me to read, to decide if in other countries the rights of women over their own bodies, to be circumcised. It does to me to read also hurt, if in Germany the Doctors are bullied, if you choose abortion. I also read that the issue is dealt with in the training, as well as not. In such moments, I think that I need to enter as “Affected”, as a “Beneficiary” of the current Situation, in which the abortion was both in time and financially straightforward, to ensure that it remains the case that in the future, the women concerned should be able to decide self-conscious about your body and your life.
What relates to the planned study, so I’m curious to know how big is the Problem of “Post-Abortion syndrome” is, whether it occurs in a statistically significant is often, or even exists. I only know my own experience and a subsequent Depression will not be affected. However, I am worried, what are the political consequences to be discussed, if this study will be in a certain direction. I can already hear the Argument that we as women need to be protected from making a decision that can lead us in a “Post-Abortion syndrome”. It is important to also examine the psychological impact of a pregnancy that was not wanted.
It was a foreign body, and ran off. “User dulcinea from: Userin dulcinea
I have a Vergewaltigudecided to ng a crash. I needed no support. Before the surgery, I had panic. It was a foreign body, and ran off. Then great relief.
another child would have me worn out completely. “Julia from: Julia
I even had crashes two of pregnancy. A with 19, a with 40. I feel in the finest manner supported. Although I have the gear for the advice and the investigations as unpleasant. But private I had great Support from Friends.
Both interventions have not been a burden on me mentally. I was aware of: I can’t do this. At 19 I was much too young. And the surprise child with 40 – I was much too old! This burden, I would have thought. Another child would have me worn out completely. It was a relief to decide against it. I have neither a guilty Conscience nor a binding to the Embryo. For me, this had no negative emotional. Only positive.
I chose to live in remorse for a subsequent pregnancy. “User Hestia from: Userin Hestia
I have three children, the youngest was just a little over a year old. I felt completely in my family and no other child wanted to. Then, when I was unintentionally pregnant, for me it was immediately clear that I wanted to keep the child. I felt overwhelmed with just the thought of four children. Also, I can’t compete would then have applied to me on several promising.
My husband would want to keep the child, then tried but to accept my decision. The Advisory body supported me in my decision. As I appeared very determined, it was no Problem to get the required counseling certificate.
Otherwise, I have avoided it, me and other people to confide in, because I felt the crash as a Stigma. Shortly before the appointment it was for me mentally very badly, and I postponed the surgery.
However, after I had seen the second appointment, I was immediately better. I experienced a real High. This lasted, unfortunately, only two weeks. After that, I thought every day to the discharged child until I decided after half a year, to try for a subsequent pregnancy. In Repentance. I am now in the eighth month of pregnancy.
Maybe that was the biggest mistake of my life. “Catherine G. from: Catherine G.
I’ve decided for financial reasons to do so. My friend had no Job and got no unemployment money ll, I self-referred to at the time, unemployment benefit I. We were afraid that we would bear the burden of a child financially even more.
support I know through a friend, with the other hand, we have hardly spoken about the crash. By the medical staff and the counseling office, I felt well treated. But in retrospect, I would have liked all of the options are discussed. Instead, I spoke with the social worker about the weather. The decision I made very quickly.
I’d discovered the pregnancy later, would have been my decision might be different. Even if I don’t feel burdened at the present time, perhaps, I often think that it was perhaps the biggest mistake of my life.
of Course, I’m sure that women have the right to have abortions, but I pose the question, what happens with the women to whom it is afterwards good, and no one can tell you your Worries. I very much hope, that I have to make this decision ever again. And hope, as well, that this was my last Chance to have a child.
I had the feeling to do something forbidden. “Kathrin: Kathrin
My gynecologist tells me in the fourth week, that my child would die during the pregnancy. In the worst case to me would have been so before in the eighth month of a stillborn. I decided then to have a crash. My gynecologist gave me the contact to the doctor and was very supportive.
I am a private in his very solid social network, and had all the support one can wish for. However, I felt very sick and that the costs of demolition were not covered by my health insurance company, Barmer,. I had this feeling of doing something forbidden. This has me very upset and hurt.
Before and after the crash I have not felt very much. I have in the Inspection, the feeling that I was made aware of “the stump”. The decision for the demolition was not like that lightly. The procedure itself is not bad. The Adopt a child but it is even more so.
He said: It’s 2:1 stands for the birth of the child. “Userin linschko of: Userin linschko
I was at the time in a relationship that was terminated in the summer. We had not managed to separate us for good. At the beginning of October I took a pregnancy test that was positive.
For me, it was immediately clear that I would not get the child: I felt too young, the relationship was actually present and my ex-boyfriend smoked pot a lot. I know a lot of support from my parents, from a friend, and also from the woman’s doctor. I had to get extra to the consultation, in the case of pro familia, but got the confirmation directly from my Doctor.
Very difficult the Situation was with my friend. He was against the demolition. I still listen to, as he says: “It’s 2:1 stands for the birth of the child. The child wants to live, and I want the child lives. You can leave the crash.”
I am aware that the Situation for men is very difficult and you often feel helpless. In the Situation with my friend, it has been immensely important for me to have the support of my parents, who have encouraged me to make my own decision. It wasn’t easy: I needed by the time of the positive Tests until the crash two weeks to stand my decision to, in spite of the quarrels with my boyfriend.
The operation took place under General anesthesia. I remember that I was then am and my first thought woke up: Now the relationship is finally at an end. At the same time I was me but also sure to have made the right decision. Me, the crash, and especially the difficult relationship situation has accompanied longer. In particular, the pressure, I know from my friend has me very busy. Although he himself as a feminist means, he has not supported me at all.
This decision has for my life is of great importance, and am very encouraged for my needs. A friend once said: “That was your personal process of Emancipation.” And that’s true. I assume, that no woman makes this decision lightly. And I’m glad I met you and for me.
I had to drive from Regensburg to Nuremberg. “User Ariana from: Userin Ariana
With 25 years ago, I became pregnant unintentionally – to a time when I was between master’s degree and start work. I was financially and professionally therefore in an unstable Situation, and my then Partner was on business travel a lot. Since we wanted to provide a child with better conditions in which to Grow up at a later time, I have decided, therefore, to have an abortion.
From my Partner, I had all the support I needed. The hard part was to find out who was in the Regensburg Region, and a crash. Because I realized the pregnancy self-test, I had therefore no first point of contact. Not wanted a woman doctor, I then, to confirm it to be to not run the risk of stigmatising: Regensburg is very Catholic. Also, I wanted to avoid it, to see Pregnant women or mothers in the waiting room. When I called then at my wife’s doctor to ask for a competent authority, in law, the nurse very long. Obviously, she was faced with this question baff.
in the end I had to go to the clinic in Nuremberg, Germany. The surgery was complicated. I had chosen the abortion by tablet, a very unpleasant procedure, which, after an ultrasound as not successful. It is a Remnant of the uterus remained, which then had to be surgically scraped out. That was very bad for me, since I wanted to avoid surgery with anesthesia. I wanted things to be noticed consciously, in order to understand what happened there. Now I had to let the passive Operation wash over me.
After I woke up, I had to cry a lot and was glad that my Partner was in the recovery room. Even days later, it was not good to me. I cried, because I felt that the procedure of abortion as bad. My Partner was there, but was not able to do as a listen. I have never regretted my decision to abort never. After this time I returned to everyday life, and never had the feeling to have some type of Trauma. I have not mourned or a farewell ritual needed. I had taken a conscious decision and am sure that I want a child, when the time is right.
Everything had to secretly run. “Userin Lebdibb of: Userin Lebdibb
I have twice let a crash make. Both times I was far too young and far under 20 years old. The pregnancies didn’t happen, as I elucidated enough, and very naive. Just young and stupid, although academic family. Everything related to Sex, was hushed.
The abortions I do not regret at all. I was not so far, I’ve proved that just by unwanted pregnancies. I would not have been able to study, grow up. I would not have obtained my current job.
Supported I’ve felt in the decisions of any page. I just felt accused. Everything had to secretly run. I felt like a criminal. Private and institutional I was treated as if I had something Bad. The decision was my concern.
to stop abortions, The stigma of Pregnancy. The secrecy with which the subject is treated makes it even more brutal. Anyone would have been helped if I would not have made the crash. No man, no parents, not me, especially the child. And also the company.
I was 13. “User Lucy from: Userin Lucy
For the crash, I had decided, since I was only 13 years old. In retrospect, it was much too early. Neither my body nor I were Mature enough.
It happened at one of the first times. The condom was ripped. As the periods stopped, I trusted my mother and made her take a pregnancy test. He was positive, and to me terribly bad. After going to the gynecologist followed, in order to confirm the Test. Then the first interview: What happens if I discharge it, and what if I abort the pregnancy?
no one urged me to make a decision. My mother assured me that they stand behind me no matter what I choose. The father of the child responded in the same way.
When I decided for the demolition, it was only to pro famila. A psychologist has taken a very a lot of time for me, and all of the opportunities available. She asked how I was with the decision whether I was pushed, and whether I would be fully behind it. On the day of the crash, my mother, the Doctors and the nurses insured that I would like to do so.
the Chance would be finished way to live, I was previously completely aware of. And for that, I had excused me very often at the little life in me. Nevertheless, I mourned. After the crash it was me, at times, very bad. I felt guilty. I often asked myself the question, what would have been, I would have acted differently. Who and what would have become of the little life. Nevertheless, I was glad to have me for the crash to be decided. The child deserves a better Start. Probably, it had problems, because I was underweight and very petite. But I’ve done it for me. For my health and my future. And the future of my planned children.
My life would have gone without the crash. “Jani K. from: Jani K.
I decided to go for a crash, because I considered myself to be immature and in the middle of the training stuck.
my parents, my Partner and his parents I got support because they knew the circumstances. My gynecologist was able to give me any information or phone numbers. Only from my parents, I learned of pro familia. There I received the necessary information and an appointment. I had to justify myself for my decision and felt estimates Gewert.
Pro familia, I would recommend always. Later, I made also an internship. I’m still grateful that there are this establishment and your work.
I was nervous before the procedure, but I have never doubted the decision. After the procedure, I was relieved, grateful and happy. Even today, I feel the same way. I regretted it at any time. To fall instead of early in the dependence of a man, I was able to finish the training, studying for my pension to work with my husband to meet me and now on the first child to look forward to.
I have experienced during my internship, no woman has made the decision easy.
I trust me rare, to be open to the demolition, because the stigma in society is still high, and “lifers” in the open-as a murderess. This has got to stop. A woman must be granted the right to decide for themselves. We women are Mature enough, this decision to weigh. Why not trust that we can meet, for us the best decision?
My life would have gone without the crash. I wouldn’t be where I am, and I’m happy. The Stigma is Stressful. There will always be crashes and we can decide as a society whether this happens in a dirty back room with a coat hanger or in a medical and caring environment.
The proposed study, I feel as demeaning and think you’re a bottomless impudence. Here is not initiated under the guise of “women’s guardianship” of a study, which is durable, because the missing counter-hypothesis: How stressful an unwanted child? But it is always amazing how Conservatives suddenly as a woman’s rights activists can upload, just to give you the right to deny. This makes me incredibly angry. How can choose a gay, conservative man, what is good for me and my Psyche?
My Partner suggested the demolition. “Helen from: Helen
My Partner at this time, proposed to the demolition. I had just graduated, he was working.
Since the pregnancy was late, and too little time to Discuss or Inform. We both went into consulting. I had to persuade him. The discussion was factual, calm and friendly. It tablets and a few days later, the Operation was followed by.
The few information was verbally conveyed in a short period of time. I had to reflect no Chance of a second opinion or think about it. I had not dared to ask Google for fear of horror stories.
Before the surgery, I was scared, of course. I knew only roughly what will physically happen. Therefore, I had to ask many things, what was embarrassing: for example, after the task of the anesthesiologist.
The procedure went easily. In the recovery room, a nearly 40-year-old woman, who told in tears that this was her third abortion and that they are still waiting for the right man lying next to me. I suffered in connection with neither significant loss of feelings, shame or a guilty Conscience. I would have thought it worked like that, but could only speak with my parents about it.
Supported I’ve felt. On The Contrary. But I was also self-responsible for myself in such a Situation. The consultation, the gynecologist, and the clinic were understanding, and neutral. First with my new Partner, I was able to speak years later about it openly. In the end, I’m glad to have made it. Neither my circumstances nor my relationship at the time, were not stable enough for such a step. That was ten years ago. Children, I would like to still have no. Whether that be related, I can’t say.
I had complaints a day, then all was well. “Anna B. from: Anna
Both 18 and 25 I am unintentionally pregnant. Both times I didn’t want the child. This was also with the child’s father, I thought was unreliable. A Single parent I wanted to be. I believe that there are enough people on this planet.
I went back to the pregnant conflict advice, but only for formal reasons. Support I didn’t need, my decision was clear. The father of the children told me that it was solely my decision, he’s carrying you. The first Time I didn’t know what to expect. The father of the child has been with me, that was good. The second Time I knew what happened. Here, too, accompanied me to the father of the child, also was a good support for me. I haven’t regretted it both times, physically, I had discomfort for a day afterwards, then all was well. Mentally I was not charged. Years later, the then father has expressed his Regret, that we didn’t get the children. Since we were separated already, but still had a good contact. I have, however, the abortion and never regretted it. Children I didn’t get any. Today, I am 57 years old and did not regret it still to have no children. On the contrary, I’m given the state of the world absolutely agree. Mental health problems, I didn’t until today.
A life without children is not only possible, it can also be very useful. Each woman must decide for yourself. Also, I find it bigoted, if on the one hand, abortion and denigrated to be criminalised, on the other hand, child poverty and poverty mothers will be allowed of alone, and much too little is done, that fathers have the same responsibility and burden of raising children (including salary and pension loss) as women. Of all things, a man is working against a woman’s right to her own freedom of choice.
It was the scariest time of my life. “Userin Kasi by: Userin Kasi
In my former situation in life I felt I was not able to have a child and become a mother. Everything was in a state of transition, not a fixed partnership, fixed income, and family problems. The support I received from the man I was pregnant. Still, I’ve never felt so lonely and alone. For me there was no other decision, and yet it didn’t feel right, also because this topic is still a taboo in our society. It was the most terrible time of my life.
I have mourned the loss – and the decision never regretted. “Doris D. from: Doris D.
It was 2002 and it was an accident – it was a burst condom. I was nursing my second child and didn’t know I could ever be pregnant again. On holiday in Norway I realized then that it went. I didn’t realize that I wanted to.
My first two children were only two years, without a break between Breastfeeding and a new pregnancy. I felt physically and emotionally often at my limit. I was afraid that the burden of three little children could lead me to have mental health problems, as I have since my youth, a tendency to depression. My life partner understood and supported me.
to Me the possibility of a medical termination up to 63 appeared. The day of the pregnancy is possible, as for me the only viable way. In a self-determined, not under General anesthesia. Of a woman doctor and a consulting body whether the time constraints, well supported, everything went pretty straightforward in the nearest hospital.
It was painful, it was like a miscarriage. The old-fashioned toilet, the basin began, the outgoing Embryo – a bloody little bean. My child was not human. I take, however, and with his father behind the house in the Park in bury.
I have mourned the loss of the child again and again – and yet, the decision never regretted. Because I decided it for myself and for my children – and together with my life partner. My children I have told about it later. My mother is not.
Why this study? That women suffer grieve, and the loss of a child, is not new. Maybe you should be more money in care, is vision full Doctors and a positive approach to women, invest or study cause how women get through the paragraph 218, the emerging discussions and insensitive Doctors are under pressure and mentally ill.
In the Catholic hospital allowed me to truly bleed. “Rumi from: Rumi
The pregnancy was not planned by me, the contraceptive methods had failed. The Partner at my side gave me the feeling that together, we can raise a child. My family and I could not tell of my pregnancy because I was worried that she would turn away from me.
I opted for the medical abortion. The “advice” for the termination form was prevented, a mere formality, my strong Occur, that I was advised.
The drug abortion did not work, however. With excessive bleeding I had to be rushed to a Catholic hospital, where they treated me very disparagingly. Abortion per se is not easy, but what I experienced there, was bad. I am, by nature, a strong personality, that was my luck: The experiences in the Catholic hospital were far Act far worthy of people. I had to bleed truly “”.
In one hospital, I was then emergency surgery immediately – I have suffered no physical damage. Before the surgery, I was in a panic: to be banished from the family, my future, my job. After the procedure, but then I was very relieved that the nightmare had an end. My mother, I informed, because I just needed support because I had lost so much blood. Until today, my father does not know that I have a crash have to perform. As before, I’m afraid of “exclusion from the family”. I’m raised Catholic, am now stepping out of the Church. For me it was an important step, to process the institutional faux pas for me.
The study compared to I am skeptical. Mental health problems can have without abortion. I’m currently in a psychoanalytic therapy, but due to experiences that have taken place in my Childhood. Retrospectively, I could have my child a Start in life, which would have given him a good base for his life path. Would not be starved to death. But the soul would have suffered.
I told no one from the crash. “Hilke of Hilke
I got the crash because I was unintentionally at the beginning of my studies, pregnant and me not be able to have seen, to have a child. The continuation of my degree course in Chemistry would have been impossible, since I work in any laboratory would be allowed to perform. This would have meant the beginning of the study, a delay of several semesters.
I have been through the abortion all alone, and I have not told anyone about the pregnancy and the abortion. For me, it was particularly distressing that I had to speak for the cost of my health insurance with the clerk about why I crash wants to be carried out. It was very quickly clear that they approved of my decision. You helped me quite reluctantly.
The crash itself and the care provided by the Doctor were very professional and without judgment. The has very good. After the crash I felt very empty. I have been concerned, above all, that this is a taboo topic and you can talk to anyone, it is just as given. I’ve done a lot of with myself, and have never regretted the abortion never. In the former Situation it was the Right one. I am very sure that I would not be a good mother.
For me, it is crucial that this issue is brought out of the taboo corner and it for women, no Stigma any more to have an abortion. There are simply situations in which a pregnancy and a child are not good for anyone. It should be the same for each woman to decide over her body. If there is a need for further study to assess the consequences, then I can only welcome this as a scientist. However, the study must then be carried out objectively and must not be designed in a way that, from the outset, it is clear which recommendation comes out at the end.
in Front of all the plays down late. “Anna from: Anna
My Partner asked me before the election – he or the child.
This resulted in the serious problems for me. I feel to guilty today. My Partner has no feelings of guilt. With the Situation I feel very alone.
I find the study very well. Because the fact that there may be psychological effects, for me is out of the question. Especially the late effects are played down.
My Ob / GYN gave it to me reluctantly information. “Vanessa from: Vanessa
I had an abortion, because I am mentally ill. I had an abortion because I knew I could be the child not a good mother. I got rid of it because I wanted to spare the child a life where it is unwanted. I got rid of it because it was the best decision for me.
the support I received from the grandma of my Ex-partner. My Ob / GYN gab me reluctantly information to have an abortion. My consultant talked to me a guilty Conscience that I should not be so selfish and the child is thinking.
I was delivered a week before the termination of a pregnancy with Hyperemesis gravidarum in the hospital. There I was alone. My family supported me, to them it was as good as no matter. From the Moment I noticed that I am pregnant, I was alone. I couldn’t tell anyone, and if so, then you called me a Monster and a murderer, you broke off the contact to me and treated me like a Criminal. It is the worst feeling in the world to be treated like that was because I had decided not to become a mother.
Before the surgery, I was tense, tormented by pangs of conscience and a circle of thoughts that were emerged by my consultant. I wondered whether it was right to be so selfish.
After my surgery, I felt relieved, because I knew I’ll spare a child a life in a world in which his mother did not want it. It was a good feeling. It freed me from all my negative thoughts and I knew that this was the best decision of my life. Even if I lost friends and my Partner, I received a piece of self-determination, nevertheless, you wanted to tell me secrets that I should not decide alone about my pregnancy and my body.
I think the money for the planned study is better spent in the support of midwives, maternity wards and better care for mothers, Pregnant women, and women who opt out of a pregnancy. This study is wrong, and ignores all of the existing studies on Post-Abortion syndrome. I wish, with the five million euros they would invest more in women’s medicine. I don’t want to read more that parents have to search thirty different Places to the midwives, to be again and again put off, or that a maternity unit closes due to financial or personnel reasons. I want women to be helped in emergency situations, that they are heard and supported.
I have spent years, in order to process the cancellation. “Userin life-long dream of: Userin life dream
I grew up in a very sheltered big bourgeois-intellectual conditions. When I was just 18 years of age at the beginning of my studies pregnant, it was a very difficult Situation. My boyfriend at the time was very unstable, my mother was seriously ill, my father is extremely strict. I didn’t know how I can cope with. My mother had supported me in my decision, almost a little forced, even the money contributed. Back then you had to go to Holland. For me it was a bad experience, except for my mother and my friend, no one knew for years. I needed years to process the termination of the pregnancy. Even today, I still think sometimes that My child would now sound so much years old – what a life it would have had? I would like to add that I am religious. Years later, I met again with my boyfriend at the time, in the hope that the conversation could take my feelings of guilt. Really, I could help but only to myself. Today I am open and know of several other women who also have problems to process their abortion. I find it useful, low-threshold psychological support after a pregnancy is an interruption of the conversation with the groups, and the like. Whether a study is in the extent of the now planned necessary, I can not judge.
In the recovery room it all felt very easy. “Anonymous from: Anonymous
I was 22 and just a year with my first boyfriend. We’ve had a difficult time behind us, because he suffered from depression that had worsened over the course of the year. After a few weeks he had spent in the psychiatric ward, had a short, good time. Then I was pregnant.
I knew immediately that I was not ready for a child. My friend the wish that we keep it. The probably had several reasons for this: his Faith, his age and his situation in life. He was 28 and had graduated a year earlier. I, however, was right in the middle of my Bachelor studies, had been through the year a difficult Phase in this relationship and often the feeling to be there for my friend responsible. The whole relationship fabric was very unbalanced. I thought it was intuitive for a completely wrong basis for a child.
So the relationship problems came to the fore. The time between the pregnancy test and the crash was turned out to be a single combat between the two of us, for me, the child in the Background. My friend felt powerless because he could legally have a say in the abortion. I took him to the consultation, in the case of pro familia. We could not talk to each other without emotionally to each other. We spoke separately with friends. I turned to my parents who supported me in my decision to not get the child.
My wife’s doctor showed understanding and was very discreet with the Situation. They gave me an appointment in the clinic, which fell between Christmas and new year’s eve. I took care of everything alone. Up to the end, my friend wavered, whether he wanted to come with me to the appointment, or not: Would he, could he be there for me and strongly feel that the Situation is better process, he said. He did not come, he would have more distance to it all, because he was also afraid of falling back into a depressive hole. Finally, he decided not to come along, which relieved me, since I had fear of him may be based. I was able to introduce him to me hard as a supporting aid. My mother accompanied me.
It all went without complications. I had no moral conflicts these days, and was very relieved. At the most concrete I remember the Situation in the recovery room, as everything felt very easy. After that, I was able to eat properly again, which was not I succeeded is probably due to the Stress, a good seven weeks until then. My friend and I made it a few days later to talk again, after he had not reported for a while, as announced. To ask not, how it went for me. A few weeks ago, we had a nice, close time to each other, we struggled together and tried to relieve the other. I think we were both glad we had. But the relationship didn’t last long.
Sometime shortly after the pregnancy test, we have the child, Ada. So it means for me today. I’m a poet. I wrote her a poem. It is one of the few emotional Connections I have to her. I have not mourned you. I still believe that that was the right decision. I felt of the doctor as a consulting page. It was hard not to get a way for my desire. The main conflict lay in the relationship. I think today, that I can be me without this conflict a lot more thought to the child itself.
All the charges are the result of how I was before and after the procedure treated. “Sophie from: Sophie
were The reasons for discontinuation in the case of us multi-factorial. I was 23 and just at the end of my studies in Freiburg, my friend had started to study again training to be a carpenter in Hanover and was in the middle of it. So we were about 600 kilometres away from each other and could not both of us, imagine the tents in the city cancel. Today, two years later, we live together in Hamburg, are financially secure and over the moon that in may our son to the world to come.
We both have great families. Our parents support us unconditionally with all. For me, it was not a question to pull out after only five years, outside of my parents house again in the vicinity of, or to be somehow different from my parents.
I was very well Advised in the case of pro familia. Me options were identified, how it is to be a child, could continue, but I also know the fear of the crash. My Partner for the Awo will advise and was very satisfied with it. Even today, we benefit from the discussions of the time and without them, probably not two years later, for a child to decide.
The demolition took place without complications. I wonder until today, how I happened to categorize, and whether you could have prevented it. I had to drive for the demolition to the surrounding area of Freiburg, bike or Bus about 45 minutes away. When I arrived a few days before the appointment in the practice, to the documents of the insurance Fund and the counseling certificate, were given to me by the receptionist two tablets, I should take the evening before the OP, to make the cervix softer. At no time has been given to me with the Information that the tablets can labor or birth trigger, but that’s exactly what happened in the night. Since then, I’ve been to Doctors a lot of suspicion.
The decision was nevertheless correct, and all the stress that I associate with this are exclusively the result of how I was before and after the procedure treated.
I think, Spahns planned study has no value. It is simply nonsensical. I doubt very much that you can include on such a complex topic all of the confounding variables in order to identify a crash clearly as a trigger for mental illness. I would have been helped by a factual, personal education by a doctor at the time.
I felt as if I had lost a part of my soul forever. “Morella of Morella
I was in an unstable, unhealthy relationship to my Partner at the time. I would not have been able to care alone for a child. I was panic and didn’t feel absolutely ready to be a mother.
I was not Supported. As clueless Girlfriends, partners, was decided against the child, pro familia, there could have been no encouraging impulse decision for the child. Under enormous mental and time pressure, I had to make a decision.
The surgery, I have experienced as traumatizing. Unfriendly clinic staff, a doctor, was repugnant to me, dark rooms. I have before the procedure cried and was not able to me to switch. After the procedure, I felt as if I had lost a part of my soul forever. And yet I was relieved for a certain period of time.
I parted from my friend, lived on with my life. At some point, a new Partner and a renewed, this time wanted pregnancy came. A few months after the birth of the child, the termination of pregnancy caught up with me. Painfully I realized that I had made a mistake I.
The thought of the crash and to my horror, that I had decided back then, was omnipresent. I could only stand up to even with contempt, and forgive me, I went down this path. And no, I have no mental illnesses.
I needed months to get back halfway. Today is not a day that I don’t think about the crash goes by. And I am far from a peace to be found.
I’m sure it was a Boy. “Janine: Janine
I was 18, in the middle of training and my boyfriend at the time urged me to abort. My parents were also in favour. Really no one has talked to me. I was with my fear and my Doubt alone.
My friend drove me to Holland, as this was without the advice note is possible, for 400 marks. He paid. As me the Doctor asked before if I was sure, I tried frantically, the tears. You would not have me to help, I could do it myself. I was scared and I didn’t want to. And don’t know what else to do with myself.
It wasn’t the typical thoughts: I don’t want a child, I would rather make a Party, or to feel young. It feelings were to blame because of my training, to my parents, and the fear that my boyfriend will leave me. He had threatened it, Yes.
The engagement took place in full consciousness. It was a suction, I could hear everything. What I have heard since, I only now really clear. After the procedure I had slight pain, similar to those of Menstruation. I have a photo from that time, as I lie on the Couch, pale and sad I look. At home, it is hushed up. At work I told some of the cysts removal.
I think about it sometimes, how old the child would be today. Strangely enough, I’m totally sure it was a Boy. My boyfriend at the time, I have separated myself with 21. In the meantime, I am 38 and wear a so far unfulfilled desire to have children, as well as two fail-rum births with me.
On the day of the abortion, stood in front of the clinic protesters. “Julia S. Julia S.
I was in the middle of the study. It was not planned, neither my friend nor I felt. He left the decision to me, but also behind me. However, he was overwhelmed absolutely and did not know how he can support me. I didn’t know it myself.
in addition to the consultation, this is a Must, I have received no support from institutions. I have shared it only with my closest family. I didn’t want to be condemned. Some of my older friends were just about to plan their own families. I had the feeling that my decision would not fit with the wider society conforming to the image of his wife and family.
Until today, don’t know my friends. Not out of fear, but mainly because it was my decision, and you’re not bad to talk to. Only I was in my Situation and only I could make a decision for myself and the unborn child. I wanted to not be giving anyone the opportunity to judge or to condemn.
On the day of the abortion, many of the protesters and nuns, who called out to me that you would help me, and that I was a murderer stood in front of the clinic. I felt as though I’m waiting for someone, and found it very pretentious, as a deep intrusion into my privacy. I can’t imagine that this encourages a young woman to want to your child.
may presume to build up much pressure, no outsider. For this reason, I think a neutral education about offers of help and the expiry of a crash is very important. Alone, this information doesn’t come from the official pages available for free, gave me the feeling to do something socially Condemned, or even forbidden. I felt bad, though, I found my decision was absolutely okay. For myself and my life.
I felt like I had to justify myself. “Iseult: Iseult
In April of 2015, I got my first child, a wanted child. In December of the same year, I learned that I became pregnant again am even though we had prevented.
My Partner and I were very confused and torn. We love our daughter and also planned for more children, however, this age gap was just too short. I had strong concerns, to get all the challenges of everyday life under a hat. I found myself in the middle of the final phase of my master’s degree, my Partner was at the time only low-income earners. So we were in need of financial support. After a few days and nights of conversations, we came to the decision that now is just not the right time for a second child.
I was too scared to feel my children then perhaps only as a burden, because I would my tasks and demands in everyday life. That would be for me the absolute disaster, because I want to let my children feel that I love you and that you are wanted.
So I went to a counselling centre and decided to go to pro familia. In the case of any other request and concerns, such as the assumption of costs by the health insurance Fund, I felt uncomfortable as I had to justify myself at any time. Especially the search for a gynecologist for pre – and follow-up, I felt as a burden. I didn’t want to be anyone seen the unborn life in their own belly is no matter, and yet I felt every Time a kind of stamp that was pressed.
After everything was over, I felt relieved me immensely – and yet it did suffering for me to have the unwanted child. I don’t regret the decision till today. It was my first consensual termination of pregnancy and will remain my last.
My daughter is now almost four years old and has got a little brother. I love both of my children. There is nothing Better for me than to see the two of them together. So it feels just right for me.
This serene feeling afterwards was irritating. “Jule, of Jule
I was 20 at the time and Accidentally from my friend, 22, pregnant. A crazy feeling that the body makes, so what is suddenly easy. But I thought: Okay, right, that he is there. In order to make children. This has touched me. But rather theoretical.
I realized from the start that I wanted to get a child. There was nothing to discuss. My friend has supported me, but he was just as young. I haven’t told very many, in the circle of friends has a bit of the rounds, but that was okay. Who have supported me all the.
The surgery itself was not bad – again, theoretically interesting, I had never had General anesthesia. This serene feeling afterwards was a bit irritating – but the Doctor said it was normal. My friend was there and took care of me. There was never any discussion, therefore, I never felt bad.
It was the right one to get 20 a child. For a time I thought: Oh, it would be now five years old, now it would be ten years old. But I was not at all wistfully, but I have illustrated, rather, my conscious decision.
That you choose so be aware of it, does not happen so often. Usually, the things more likely to happen. But that was a conscious decision that had an impact on my whole life and still has. Now, 20 years later, no regrets I still. I still want no children of their own. But I’m a good godfather.
The Advisory was coercion stressful. “Ronja: Ronja
I have aborted four pregnancies – all after I had already given birth to two children.
My second pregnancy was very traumatic. I almost lost my child. After that, I just wanted to have any more kids. Out of fear of another traumatic pregnancy, and because I finally wanted to take the business. More children would be considerably more difficult.
Privately, I have filled always supported me. From the institutional side it was different. In Germany, the experience of the regulatory effort and the advice was forced burdensome and stressful. In Denmark – where I live for almost two years – it was much easier. Here you can inform everywhere. The step with the advice falls off. I had less guilt, and had not, like Germany, that makes me part of the authorities of the allegations.
The crashes I experienced very differently. The first three were medical. In the third, however, there were significant complications and I would have bled to death. The fourth I did so surgically. Mentally and physically I have survived all of the interventions well.
There I was, in all cases, sure I wanted to have no further children, I have never regretted making the choice. After the crashes I have felt while mourning about the Situation, have the experience but, on the whole survived well, because I admitted my remorse.
however, I am sure that my partners have played a very important role. Three of the crashes I have survived with my current Partner. The decisions we have taken together, and always after careful Consideration.
Have aimed for my Partner, not necessarily a sweep, I would have been but too ready to compromise. It was important that we exposed ourselves honestly and directly to our Fears and feelings, these are not licensed, and aware of the repressions have been avoided.
So, we have grieved together, to the fetuses, and they also adopted symbolic. Thereafter, the Release was easier. The result is a very healthy and unpolluted relationship, despite or because of the experienced crashes.
I was always glad to have this kid does not get it. “Susanna: Susanna
I had an abortion in January 2008. Christmas 2007 I found out that I am pregnant. I remember how I was at the doctor on the ultrasound looked and couldn’t believe it.
I had become at this time just 19, and as an Au-pair in England. The father was a club acquaintance, I know, until today, neither last name nor age.
Of my family I would get, after the first shock was digested, any support that would have been possible. But I knew from the beginning that I don’t want a child. Not so and not at this time. I had no training, I had no money, no apartment and no idea where my life should lead. The pregnancy felt as Ballast. I knew that I would not be able to cope with the responsibility.
The first advice was from the Evangelical Church. I told the consultant at the beginning that I tend to have a crash because I was busy, actually still am, to find my life. He went through with me step for step, what state aid would have entitled to, what rights and options I have. He said, for example, that I would have to take care of me, actually, only in the first year of full-time to the child. After that, I could give it to Yes in a full-time care. And my mother would take over some weekends.
At the end, after about an hour, he said to me, that I need now no confirmation about the advice.
For the first Time in my life I felt completely helpless and patronized, but also had the courage to contradict him.
The second interview was with pro familia. I went with a friend and said right at the beginning that I don’t want a child, but an abortion. The lady was nice, told me that it was okay, and gave me the confirmation on the advice without further questions.
Because I had no money and my family just could not cope, I had to at the health insurance company a request for reimbursement. So I sat in the morning in the clinic, should perform the abortion, and was waiting for the insurance company faxed the approval to cover the costs. I waited the entire morning in the waiting room and was then sent home. On the next day of the demolition could be carried out just in time.
I fell into a mental hole. Before the crash I was like on Autopilot. I knew the pressure of time, I knew the time limit I had to adhere to. I knew that I must canvass the stations, to be able to my decision.
After that, I didn’t know how I had to classify the emotions.
but It was clear very quickly that this mental hole stirred up more from my past than from the abortion. I was sad about the abortion, sad about the loss. Nevertheless, I was always glad to have this kid does not get it. Always. At any time, until today.
you Will be asked as an expectant mother, too, if you had really thought it through? “Tina F. from: Tina F.
I was an unplanned pregnant, and concluded, after careful Consideration, to believe, to want to be in this Moment of my life, no children.
The support of the private was top notch. At the time, I remember, I found it initially not well, that my former partners expressed no view at all. But I have been pretty clear that he wanted to simply risk no influence. I am still grateful. Friends and family were similar to the wonderful – no-one tried to push me in one direction, but all were willing, as a (critical) conversation partner sick.
Institutional support? Mostly gängelnd, patronising and condescending. I had come to a decision, which I was sure. However, with one exception, all who should accompany me institutionally on the way seemed to be of the opinion that they would have to my decision – or so I felt my decision-making ability! – questioning. You will be asked actually, as an expectant mother, constantly, whether you have thought about the good? Or a “children-they-really -?” -Advice forced?
How I felt? Hm. After I had made the decision, actually, just easier. I have never regretted making the choice, not in the Slightest.
Since my crash I am much more aggressive on the Pro-Choice side than I was before, because before me, that it is more than important to ensure the possibility of abortion. It addresses the needs of women still in their decision-making ability.
I drove in the seventies in Holland. “Userin grandson husband of: Userin Enkelmann
I had an abortion in the seventies, when it was banned in West Germany. So I drove out to Holland. The tip for the clinic I received from my former gynecologist. The border crossings were the most Sensitive, Because the German border guards were arrested, and strict access and arrest on suspicion, the women. For entry back in the Federal Republic was not, it is important to sit in the back seat, Bind and leave bloody underwear in advance in the Netherlands disappear and the medical report of the Abtreibungskto hide linik so that the German guards could find him in any case.
In the abortion clinic was carried out, the suction method with local anesthesia, since you took the position that the patient and the Partner should get, for what you have decided. The Doctors and the nursing staff were convinced that with this procedure an abortion way is better to process.
For me, it was good, everything aware. I took over without problems, the internal responsibility for it. After the abortion I was sad and relieved. A guilty Conscience I never had, but was with me and my never-born child will always be Pure.
The Rangers have of course noticed that I was in a physically bad, and have examined our car meticulously for evidence. The in my panties hidden doctor’s letter you have not found the happiness.
preponderance of critical voices. Jens Spahn should stop “to exploit women in distress ideological for his own purposes,” writes a reader. Another proposes that we should rather investigate, “the extent to which unwanted pregnancies that were forced upon because of lack of information or other extrinsic factors up to the time of birth, mental disorders and cause – even in the mother-child relationship.”
Out of the approximately 350 submissions, we have selected 50 texts, to the range of different experiences reflect. The personal Experience is different. However, almost all of the women found their abortion in the long term than a relief. Although they were sad and had suffered from feelings of guilt. However, the Moment was not often the right thing to do, to be a mother. It is also clear that almost every crash is a lengthy process of Reflection, the inventory is often out of talks with partners and Friends. Most of our readers reported crashes to unintended pregnancy, not from medical interventions justified.